1.) Know that it is not an ideal situation. The children in the house are not staying with their real father or mother.
2.) Expect some challenges because you have to love a stranger. It may not be easy but it is worth it.
3.) Recognize that the fatherless or motherless have a special place in God’s heart and He has said that He will personally fight those who oppress them.
4.) You married a spouse with this background, so the best thing to is do accept it.
5.) You must love them unconditionally (agape) without expecting a reward.
-1 Corinthians 13:4-8
6.) Recognize that the son or daughter is closely related to your spouse and that he/she loves him/her.
7.) Decide on the involvement of the child’s other parent before you marry. Minimum interference in your new home is advised. Frequent interaction between the child’s parents is not necessary. If possible, get a neutral person to act as a liaison to avoid questions and mistrust.
8.) Always endeavor to be a united couple in the eyes of the child.
9.) Know the reality of a bitter stepchild.
10.) Believe God to fight certain battles for you.
11.) Seek counsel when necessary.
12.) Do not encourage or fan any rift between your spouse and the stepchild.
13.) Do not be seen to form a clique with your spouse’s step-child.
14.) Accept the fact that children are not perfect creatures. Your own children may also be stubborn or full of mistakes. A stepchild needs working on too. Handle him/her with love. Do not always take your spouse’s correction of the stepchild as hatred. Allow your spouse to train the stepchild in accordance with biblical principles.