Problem Solving in Marriage


The home is a garden. Weeds keep cropping up in a garden that must be constantly removed, so that our planted seeds can grow well. Every normal marriage has problems and challenges. It is only when there is a fire that you see which of the sticks around you is actually a snake.


And when Paul had gathered a bundle of sticks, and laid them on the fire, there came a viper out of the heat...

-  Acts 28:3


In other words, in times of trouble, the character of a spouse shows clearly.


Major Problem Areas in Marriage

(a) Communication

(b) Sex

(c) Money

(d) Temperament

(e) Children

(f) In-laws

(g) Job

(h) Housework

(i) Infidelity


It is in the interest of married couples to do all they can to prevent problems from showing up in their marriages.

If problems arise, your approach to solving them must be this:

(a) Pray about the situation.

(b) Be positive that there is a solution.

(c) Bring up the issue (in the spirit of meekness––do not be confrontational).

(d) Identify the causes (sincerely). Get to the root, not the tip of the problem.

(e) If necessary, consult your pastors.

(f) Read some of the best books on marriage counseling


Methods of Solving Problems


  1.  Be ready to compromise.

There is no winner or loser in marriage, you are one.

When there is a clear disagreement, the husband’s decision must stand and the wife must support it even if he turns out to be wrong. However, the man must not be domineering.  He must not be a dictator in his house.


2. Things to avoid when solving problems:

(a) Do not shout.

(b) Do not share your problems with your relatives or friends.

(c) Do not break down in tears.

(d) Do not use sex as a weapon (do not refuse him/her).

(e) Do not refuse to eat prepared food.

(f) Never use the word DIVORCE in quarrels.

(g) Avoid the counsel of the ungodly.


3. Have a forgiving attitude and spirit. 

Forgiveness is very essential for the survival of the marriage.Do not be impatient and inconsiderate to your spouse.

4. Be prepared to talk frankly about the issue.

5. The other party must be willing to accept fault and apologize.

6. Do not let any problem color your future actions.