Loss of A Spouse

With the death of a spouse there is expect to be a high level of trauma. The sorrow that grips you with the loss of a spouse can drive you to your own death if you do not come out of that sorrowful state quickly.

This Section Also Includes:

a.) The Eight Stages of Dealing With Loss

b.) What to do if a Spouse Dies

 

The 8 Stages of Dealing with Loss

 

1.) Shock––The unexpected has happened. I never dreamt this would happen to me. I am helpless.

2.)  Denial––This is not really happening to me. I am sure it is simply a bad dream that will soon pass.

3.) Fear––What will become of me? Is my life over? How will I cope?

4.) Guilt––It is my fault.  Maybe  there  was  something  I  could  have  done  to  prevent  this  from happening.

5.) Hurt/pain––I ache, my heart bleeds.

6.) Anger––Why me? Why did I have to lose my spouse? How could God have allowed this to happen to me?

7.) Acceptance––So be it. What has happened has happened. I will face it.

8.) Healing––The Lord is working on me. The oil, his Holy Spirit, is a balm for my wound. His love soothes and takes away my pain. He is changing me––making me a better, stronger person.

 

What to Do if a Spouse Dies

1.) Allow yourself to grieve.

Weep over your loss.  You need to express your pain. You are likely to become bitter and sink into deep depression. Unexpressed grief may also lead to various sicknesses.

Blessed are they that mourn:  for they shall be comforted.

- Matthew 5:4

 

2.) Be aware that an overwhelming sorrow can possess and control you.

You need to stop crying and being sorrowful quickly, otherwise you will find it difficult to regain a zest for life.  In that sorrowful state, you may find no purpose to life––it will cease to hold any meaning for you, and you may consciously or unconsciously invite your own death.

...but the sorrow of the world worketh death.

- 2 Corinthians 7:10

 

3.) Be heavenly-minded about your spouse’s departure.

4.) Overcome depression

Learn to overcome depression by having a thankful heart. A prescribed antidote for depression is a lifestyle of praise.  Worship God in the privacy of your home, and publicly, in church.

5.) Accept your bereavement and move on

6.) Dream again. You may choose to remarry.